After a freeze occurs, Darwin’s gardeners take action. OK, “spring” is the wrong word. He will see him for a couple of weeks and then start thinking about starting the next step.
And who is this Darwin gardener guy? He is Florida’s premier lawn and garden care guru. He’s not a yoga coach on the lawn, he whispers encouragement and has hydration and towels ready. He’s a high school gym coach on the lawn, giving everyone extra laps around the field and making fun of the stragglers.
Looking back, 2022 was a year of extremes in his yard. June was his wettest since 1998, and September was his wettest since records began in 1923. The hottest annual average temperature since 1923 placed him third, but it also saw the coldest Christmas Eve since 1989. The coldest Christmas since 1995. A rare two-day freeze!
Details: Florida is having its coldest Christmas in 33 years.Thousands of flights delayed or canceled
In short, 2022 was the year he sorted out which of his plants could handle it and which ones couldn’t.
Weather conditions like these have at least a few homeowners asking their Darwin gardeners:
Q: What is the first step after freezing?
A: Darwin gardeners know that many of their plants are too early to take to the fainting couch and simply want a little attention. Croton for example. They turn a sad color and drop their leaves. Poor thing, are they dead? unlikely. Look for green shoots in a month.
A houseplant that shouldn’t be outside, the zebra plant looks like someone hit it with a flamethrower. It wilts to the ground and starts all over again without anyone’s help.
No, the first step for Darwin gardeners is to do a little more harm to invasive plants. Cut back the lantana that threatened to swallow your air conditioner last summer. Defeat the Old World Creeper Fern or Virginia Creeper Vine. Cut back the clubgrass. Grab the air potato vine seeds from the ground. (It’s actually a bulb, not a seed, but you get what I mean.)
His motto is to attack them when they are down!
Q: Are ferns on the hit list of invasive plants?
A: It’s definitely a sword fern. Yeah, yeah, there are varieties that belong here and others that don’t. Darwinian gardeners believe that if you’re growing it in your own garden, it must be the latter. He doesn’t pretend to be able to tell them apart.
Darwin’s gardeners are known to pluck sword ferns around while munching on Christmas sugar cookies to keep up the spirits. Ferns loosen their grip on the ground after a suitable cold snap and are easier to pull up if acted in time. Like many exotic invaders, they are good looking, but will be hijacked if not challenged.
Q: Weeks after the freeze, you haven’t done anything to help the sad-looking flower bush? You must still be decorating your Christmas tree, too.
A: A Darwinian gardener will keep the Christmas tree and most of the decorations up until Elvis’ birthday on January 8th, the last day of the winter holiday cycle.
Darwinian gardeners are optimists when it comes to cold-swept bushes. He sees the occasional freezing as a test of whether his plants belong to plant hardiness zone 9. They’re not the spoiled greenhouse dwellers of Zone 10 or the exotic flaunts of Zone 11. A surprising number have passed the test. At this time they have dropped their leaves and are all wilted.
Darwin’s gardener was once the parent of a teenager. He is unimpressed by the drama. He knows they will get through this.
Q: Your hibiscus in particular looks dead dead dead. Cut them down so you don’t get reminded that you neglected the bare minimum of winter protection?
A: Darwin gardeners never touch their favorite plants until the air conditioning is on each night. And he’s fine with waiting. He doesn’t know where the dead tree is until he sees where the buds are. Some plants take longer to evaluate than others.
The Darwinian gardener laments that his patient and vigilant waiting is often mistaken for laziness, especially on weekends.
Mark Lane is a news journal columnist. His email address is his mlanewrites@gmail.com.
